i’m moving on with my life. i originally left because i wanted a life outside of the internet. a life where i actually got to hang out with the people i was friends with. and a life where not everyone i knew was battling some sort of mental disorder. i’m so over it.
maybe one day i will be a therapist or i will spread the recovery word but right now i’m no one’s therapist.
thank you to anyone who has called me their inspiration. i’m flattered i could help you on the road to recovery. but being someones inspiration is a huge burden to carry. if i fuck up, will you relapse? sorry i’m not sorry but i don’t really care anymore. i got to where i am taking care of myself first. i lead a selfish recovery and it works for me and has been the only thing to work for others i know. every day i’m closer to saying i’m eating disorder free. all tumblr does is engulf me in this ed world again and i don’t care for it.
i wish everyone the best with their recovery and i hope you can find an ed free life too. and thank you to anyone who has ever supported me. if i never returned the favour, i apologize but i do wish you all the best.
cyaaaa
September 2012
4 posts
August 2012
4 posts
i’m doing good, tumblr’s just lost its touch for me
July 2012
69 posts
yes. do i have my license? no. :P
6. what is your dream meal? You have no money limit, can use any ingredients in the world, and you don’t have to cook it yourself.
i don’t even know, dude. i wish somebody could just like… somehow exactly know what my taste buds like most and just like flavour explosion me with some amazing meal.
9. what is ‘healthy eating’ to you?
give your body what it needs and avoid eating shit that shouldn’t be in your food.
17. if you had to pick just five foods to eat for the rest of your life, what would they be?
watermelon, chicken nuggets/breaded chicken, gummy candy, a loaded salad, chocolate covered nuts.
2. favorite “guilty pleasure” food?
mcdonald’s breakfast sandwiches, especially the mcgriddle omg
3. would you consider yourself more of a tea drinker or coffee drinker?
coffee, for sure. double double.
19. name a favorite of each: drink, snack food, dessert food, meal.
drink - water, coffee, tea (but i don’t drink it often ‘cause it’s like super diuretic for me…)
snack food - watermelon, chips (doritos, salt and vinegar mm)
dessert food - any kind of pie, nutella on toast with roasted nuts, or fruit
meal - chickpea salad, rotisserie chicken, potato wedges
lol wut we said i love you on the phone monday…
i don’t know
- 1: Clif, Lara, or Luna?
- 2: Favorite 'guilty pleasure' food?
- 3: Would you consider yourself more of a tea drinker or coffee drinker?
- 4: Do you exercise? Is it something you enjoy?
- 5: Would you ever go vegan?
- 6: What is your dream meal? You have no money limit, can use any ingredients in the world, and you don't have to cook it yourself.
- 7: Do you practice yoga? If so, what are your favorite/least favorite poses?
- 8: Would you rather only eat dessert foods for the rest of your life, or never have another dessert food in the rest of your life?
- 9: What is 'healthy eating' to you?
- 10: What are you top three favorite fruits, and top three favorite veggies?
- 11: What are your three least favorite fruits, and your three least favorite veggies?
- 12: Do you juice? If so, what's your favorite juice?
- 13: [If you do yoga] Do you prefer to follow along a video, take a class, or just make up your own flows?
- 14: If you could only drink one flavor of tea for the rest of your life, which would it be?
- 15: What's your favorite nut butter? Least favorite that you've tried?
- 16: What store's athletic-wear do you like best? (yoga pants, sports bras, running shorts, etc.)
- 17: If you had to pick just five foods to eat for the rest of your life, what would they be?
- 18: What's your opinion on people who have no concern about keeping themselves/their bodies healthy?
- 19: Name a favorite of each: Drink, snack food, dessert food, meal.
- 20: Do you add anything extra to your tea/coffee?
- 21: Favorite oatmeal toppings?
- 22: Your ultimate yoga/workout playlist would have to include what five songs?
- 23: Who/what got your into yoga/running/etc. (all that apply to you) ?
- 24: Do you have any 'guilty pleasure' foods?
- 25: (If you do yoga) Describe your perfect, dream yoga room/space.
thannnk youuu <3
2 cents for all
oh yeah lol i loved the attention. anyone who says they (they meaning your eating disorder) love the recognition when they were losing weight is lying. but eventually you get to the point where you’re just so fed up and sick of being sick but still can’t stop and you want to disappear. kinda like where i’ve been lately lololol.
okmqaz replied to your photo: working girl #rogers (Taken with Instagram)
Oooh new iphone? Rice didnt work?
lol nopeee, ‘cause i fucking went to wonderland for like 5 hours and just fucking let a fan blow all the mother fucking water right back in the whole time. the phone’s fucked. so i got a new iphone. it’s the 4 ‘cause i wasn’t gonna pay full price for the newest when the iphone 5 comes out in the fall.
i finally got my job transfer/promotion. i went from working at a chat-r kiosk to working at rogers head office. i had my first day yesterday and it was incredible. i was in the back room doing training videos all day but still, the fact that i was working at head office was like, way to go girl.
the campus has several cafeterias, a couple tim horton’s, and a variety store. there are street signs to help you navigate the ginormous place. annnd, my favorite perk: they have a gym! it’s $10 a month and comes directly off your pay. it’s actually a decent gym. the equipment is a little older but there’s lots to choose from. also, there’s free classes that come the employee membership. today i am going to go for a run and then do the “abs of steel” class.
in terms of how i’ve been doing with my eating disorder… i have been purging. i haven’t told anyone but camila (graisse-squelette). i think this is the reason that i haven’t stopped yet. i’ve been too ashamed to rat myself out to the people i know can help me. i need to swallow my pride and tell someone. but i always hate the look of disappointment or the days that follow where i’m watched like a hawk.
i will probably be tracking my intake in a way for right now, just not as obsessively as before. i need to make sure i have a decent sized breakfast and eat well throughout the day because the purging always happens at the end of the night. i’ll be really hungry from the day and eat a normal meal but it will feel like i’ve eaten so much more. and it’s instant - i walk to the washroom knowing i’m going to purge. the lack of thought required this lapse is scaring me. i don’t even know what i’ve done until i’ve done it.
anyways, right now i’m eating peaches and blueberries and a lara bar for breakfast. i’m getting a coffee at work and perhaps a snack by the time i get there. i really need to turn things around for myself.
fuck you dude.
I was thinking of doing something like a promo game with a recovery challenge.
I’ll make a list of the players and whoever goes the longest without b/ping wins! But for the game to work, you’d have to be honest. If you lose it’s ok, no punishment. When you slip, all you have to do is tell me and I’ll cross your name off of the list but I won’t tell the other players you lost, I’ll just say SOMEONE lost and remind the others of how many people are still playing.
This is meant to help both me and you guys and motivate us not to act on our behaviours. Also for justice purposes if you fast, restrict or over-exercise it still counts as purging so please be honest.
The winner (or winners) will be promoted by all the other players and will get a recovery bracelet I’m yet to make (I’ll ship it anywhere in the world, no problem) and maybe something else :D
Please reblog this, the more people playing the better! You don’t have to be following me to join (though it would be nice so you could keep up with how many people are still in the game). Even if you don’t want to play/don’t struggle with bingeing and/or purging, please reblog this so your followers who struggle with it can join us in this challenge.
The game starts officially July 15th so that more people have time to join us. All you have to do is message me saying you want to play and I’ll add you to the list. All posts related to the challenge will be tagged as “bp free challenge”.
okay fine put my name down.
i’m not her fucking messenger, jesus titty christ.
that’s beautiful :’)
refer to last post.
she was getting there the last time i spoke to her.
no, sorry. she deleted her facebook and i haven’t heard from her since. the last time i spoke to her she was doing better, and i hope she still is.
graisse-squelette replied to your post: i need an international texting/calling plan because for some reason all you cunts decided not to live in canada.
someone needs to take her nap. grumpy wumpy
IF YOU LIVED IN CANADA WE COULD HAVE A NAP TOGETHER BUT SINCE YOU DON’T WE CAN’T AND I AM SAD.
i went to treatment with her. she was on “what’s eating you.”
do you ever just cry because you’re you
19, i’ll update my about me now. :P
june 11th
